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CINEMA SEEN - "Pirates Kicks Some Booty!" by Bill Margold It was one of those "special Saturdays"...shared with a very good friend...wherein virtually everything---seeing PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END, eating at Fu Shing in Pasadena (their Hot Soupy Beef Soup is a stomach searing delight), and the New York Yankees winning---that could go right went right---and nothing of any great importance went wrong. I am asked repeatedly about what I do on weekends or holidays or vacations...and my patented response is "my whole life has been a vacation." Which means, quite frankly, that I don’t consider any of what I do "work" in the dreaded going to and getting it over with laborious sense of the term. Indeed, while certain slug like, odiously obsequious, prattling phonies around me make WAY TOO MUCH of their thoroughly unjustified positions in life---I am quite content in letting my record of actions performed and activities acknowledged---speak volumes about my place as a perpetual thorn in the conscience of those who are jealous of my survival acumen. And while those redundantly regurgitating bottom-feeding creatures are truly laughable in their ignorance about being the butt of jokes behind their sagging backs, I roll in the carrion of their meddlesome actions against my being so comfortable with myself. Were these the days when the legendary pirate cornerstones of "loyalty, truth, honor and friendship" measured up as the order of the day...I would take the long winded, the short sighted, the fat and flatulent, and the frail and foolish of them out for a very long walk on a very short plank. However our oceans are polluted enough and Dueling---the gentleman’s way of eliminating nuisances has been outlawed (for now!)---therefore all I can do is aim printed broadsides at their bloat, bombast and bust on this page (for which I am truly grateful to be able to utilize every week) in the hope that those for whom the words are intended will choke on the scalding sentiments, and then proceed to drown under the wave of rancid realization about their lack of worth to all those that they are annoying. Boy does having a good time experiencing a great film with a truly productive human being...herein LAXPRESS news and sports views columnist Joey Alkes, whose pages, unlike other considerably more useless ones (with the exception of mine, of course), lend a comforting "social redeeming value" to this publication---work me into lather against those whose lives are truly a waste of time---my time...particularly! I picked Joey up about mid-morning on the "special Saturday" in my venerable Bearmobile (a VW van of 1978 vintage), and we were off to The Hastings Theatre in Pasadena, a relatively old style movie house, to revel in the genuinely exhausting, non-stop cine-magical wonderments provided by that eternal rascal Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), and his immensely entertaining cohorts Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightly), Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), Davy Jones (Bill Nighy)...and Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat) tossed in for good measure. Although the Gore Verbinski directed, Ted Elliott and Terry Russo scripted excitement semi-concludes with just enough of a reason to continue the exceptional series---the third chapter ("At World’s End")--- provides more than enough resolutions (some very touching) for all involved to simply allow our memories of them to sail on happily ever after...on smooth seas, and of course...DVDs. And if nothing else, experiencing the "Pirates" thrill-logy makes me hanker to visit Disneyland in Anaheim just so I can take the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Of course...it would be even more fun if Joey came along. And if we could parlay taking the ride into seeing our beloved Yankees play the hated Angels... then it would truly make that day as "special" as the Saturday that launched this column. Maybe even "special-er." end NOTE: Originally published in LA Xpress, July 5, 2007 issue. |