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Exxxtasy Show, July 16-18, Chicago
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CINEMA SEEN - "Yo Ho Hooray!" By William Margold I can't resist saying that there is a little of the playful pirate Jack Sparrow in all of us. And if there isn't---there damn well should be! And if your mind's eye has forgotten what that very special mischievous feeling is all about, then perhaps the magnificent film that is gloriously featured on this page will reignite your soul---and maybe even make your heart beat a little bit faster in the process. "Arrrr"---it's time to go sailing on the high screen again with that wonderful rascal "Captain" Jack Sparrow, a devilishly delightful character rendered with considerable ambiguity (and not just sexual) by Johnny Depp. While it's been almost three years since I boarded The Black Pearl for the first time, it's been well over 35 years since I cashed in one of my precious E-tickets during a visit to Disneyland, climbed into a little wooden boat, and embarked on the first of many, many, MANY excursions into the wondrous world of PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. Easily the best amusement park ride I have ever taken, the attraction has become the basis of a tremendous motion picture series, which in fact, with chapter two: DEAD MAN'S CHEST--- continues to get better and better. Therefore, if chapter one (THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL) was worth at least 10 E-tickets, I'd be hard-pressed to beg, borrow, or perhaps more appropriately, steal, at least 100 E-tickets to barter with for the pleasure of watching DEAD MAN'S CHEST. Which, of course, begs the question, of how many E-tickets the grand finale (currently known as AT WORLD'S END) will demand. A bit of a back story here, there needs to be told, you say, about all of this E-ticket talk, and being an old salt, I shall not disappoint. Way before it was "one price bought all" at Disneyland---in exchange for your admission fee you were given a booklet of tickets lettered A-E. A's got you very little, unless you liked to spend some "Moments With Mr. Lincoln" or enjoyed watching vintage cartoons. B-tickets were slightly more valuable. And so on---until you came to the E-tickets, which your cotton-candied fingers handled with utmost care, as they were truly the coin of a magical realm that you had escaped into for a dazzling day as well a very tuneful light parade filled night. And when the time came for you to finally "have to go home!"---You would always notice that the path exiting Disneyland was littered with lots of unused A-tickets, as well as a few B's. But you would have had a better chance of meeting a pirate with perfect teeth than finding an unused E-ticket. And speaking of pirates with perfect teeth--- their missing, stained, rotting or gold-capped dentures are only a very small portion of the cosmetic wonders of DEAD MAN'S CHEST, as the many turns and even more twists of Ted Elliott's and Terry Rossio's terrific tale takes us into the tortured world of Davy Jones, as personably played as possible by Bill Nighy, considering that he is performing under the scene-stealing (as well as disturbing) weight of numerous squiggly tentacles, and a continually growing family of crustaceans. Perhaps the most mythic of all pirates, Jones, like Sparrow, and in fact, the sly Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), whose re-appearance comes just as the credits roll (which MUST be sat through entirely for a truly inspired "howl" of a kicker scene), is pursuing a peaceful eternity. But the road to redemption is paved with the pitfalls of temptation, and of course, the profits of plunder---and a pirate can only deal with the Devil so many times, before HIS pitchfork becomes a permanent adornment. Jack's soul, on the other hand is still very much up grabs, and his fate, I'm sure, will be the centerpiece of chapter three, which is supposed be released around next Memorial Day. This very merry-go-round (with numerous side trips) time, Jack, and his associates (the attractively tomboyish Keira Knightley, and her perpetually heroic beau Orlando Bloom), aided (perhaps) by a morally driven compass, get caught up in the search for the contents of Davy Jones' infamous chest. Along the way, a collection of cavorting cannibals, a visit to Tortuga (the redoubtable pirate hangout of lore, upon which the aforementioned ride was based), and a couple of run-ins with a formidable beastie known as the Kraken, some unnerving voodoo-ings, plus (whenever needed) superbly staged sword, cutlass and knife fights, are among the many joyous disorders served up by director Gore Verbinski, braced by Hans Zimmer's rousing score. Agonizingly but appropriately left with all sorts of plot threads teasingly toying with our sensibilities, the overage juvenile delinquent spirit of Jack Sparrow in us is going to be very, very, VERY restless until the middle of next year, when we will be given the opportunity to sight PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN on the horizon again! Maybe the film's producers will consider recreating E-tickets to honor the occasion. end NOTE: Originally published in LA Xpress, August 24, 2006, issue. |