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CINEMA SEEN - "To HELL And Other Venues!" By William Margold I'm briefly interrupting my three-part Memorial Daz-ing experiences by ashamedly announcing that being mindlessly lured in by the recent damn day-and-date development---I went to HELL on 6-6-06. Yes…I fell victim to all of 20th Century Fox's promotional hype, and I found myself giving The Devil HIS due on the recent "six"-soaked evening by suffering (albeit in the very pleasant company of Dave "Talking Blue" Michaels) through the God-awful remake of THE OMEN. And although I can readily locate the triple-sixes on the left back portion of my own skull, I felt absolutely no kinship whatsoever to the hollow-eyed child of Satan as presented SO laboriously under John Moore's tedious direction, and therefore I am strongly compelled to advise YOU to stay the HELL away from this cinematic slug. However, the most ominous image of my 6-6-06 movie-going venture at North Hollywood's Century Theatres complex, was seeing a hefty fellow fashioning a Detroit Lions jersey (#80 Charlie Rogers for the record) both on my way in as well as on my way out. In true "Twilight Zone"-ing…the hulking specter was an eerie, nightmare-inducing validation of my eternal damnation for being a Lions fan for 50 years! In fact…my soul bartering with The Devil, and my own mortality…are perversely based on when (if ever) MY Lions win The Super Bowl! But that's another story…for another column. Feeling compelled to celebrate the Memorial Day weekend by watching at least one war movie on Monday (and therefore you'll notice that I'm going to save my second-day adventures for the third portion of this triptych)---I was very fortunate to have been sent director Sidney J. Furie's well-crafted vision of the furiousness in Iraq: AMERICAN SOLDIERS (www.velocityhomeentertainment.com)---which truly compliments, and many ways mirrors Mr. Furie's exceptionally-etched 1978 Vietnam film view: THE BOYS IN COMPANY C. And then it was off to catch-up with a pair of recent "tempting" motion pictures that needed to be dealt with before they disappeared from the BIG screen. But now that I've taken to dealing with Netflix ---with its expeditious ability to deliver fairly recent movies that I have managed to miss---but for which I have press kits waiting to be utilized---this movie-watching method may well take the place of having to munch reheated popcorn in economy priced/claustrophobic theater auditoriums---as I can now make my own popcorn…while watching a semi-first run film in the sprawl of my living room. A surprisingly listless Secret Service-based thing called THE SENTINEL starring Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland was first up, and it was so transparent (villain-wise), that it caused me to wonder if anyone involved even cared about trying to create any suspense at all. Let's just say that IN THE LINE OF FIRE, it wasn't! Saving what I thought (hoped!) would be the best for last---and genuinely desperate to see anything even remotely pulsating under the label of a "western"---I was completely under-whelmed, and eventually truly annoyed by what should be called a "dustern"---THE PROPOSITION. Laughably extolled as homage to Sam Peckinpah and Sergio Leone by a gaggle of easily impressed cine-fools, this sorry serving of dingo-droppings (the misery is set in Australia) should have been called "Snoring Matilda." And so…the third day of the recent Memorial Day weekend staggered to an end. But for readers of this column, you've still got the two BIG FILMS that I saw on the second day (Sunday, when I was joined by my ebullient webmaster, Jon B.) to look forward to reading about. To be continued… end NOTE: Originally published in LA Xpress, June 15, 2006, issue. |