|
Exxxotica L.A.
Exxxtasy Show, July 16-18, Chicago
The King of Custom Imprinting! www.corporategiftsand promotionalitems.com

P.A.W. NEEDS HELP! PLEASE READ!
|
CINEMA SEEN - "The 'Bear' Facts"
by William Margold
Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) weighed in (after coyly shucking shoes and pants) at 280 lbs.
When I decided "not to die"---and to go on a diet last June---that has been shockingly successful (I can see ribs, etc.) that I thought were a distant and dwarfed memory---I weighed in at 280 lbs.
That symbiosis alone warrants the following page that is dedicated to the return of the perversely compelling SOPRANOS on HBO.
But I've got a great deal more in common with TV's most magnetic character, whose manner (or lack of same) is that of a combustible teddy-bear.
Before proceeding, I would like to acknowledge that the various pictures on this page are reflective of what both Tony and I represent.
Among my many nicknames, of which "Papa Bear" is the most prominent, I have at times, by those who are quite sincere in their genuflection, been called "Godfather"---a mantle that while heavy to bear (hmm)---is richly deserved.
Indeed, it's been over 34 years since I tumbled in the warm, wet, writhing absolutely wonderful world of XXX.
And from the lowly position of Dummy, a third rung button man in a "family" depicted in 1972's adult action piece called "The Goddaughter"---I have scaled the sinematic heights all the way to portraying the Godfather in a 1999 update of the mobster-based series.
And at the same time, I've also been climbing the violent and lusty ladder in Rob Spallone's truly inspired hardcore homage---"The Sopornos"---a series that is desperately in need of resolving.
Of course, our (the adult industry's) efforts pale (somewhat) in the light of the multi-dimensional convolutions of the very lethal TV series that has risen to become a sociological phenomenon---making it a household word spoken with great reverence by its myriad of fans.
Now in the twilight of its epic trek through the lusty life and trying times of Tony, a character born into the existence of being a VERY powerful professional criminal who must handle ALL of the problems such a sanguine position demands, the series, spread out over the past seven years to the extent that only (as of this page) 67 episodes have been aired, is riveting stuff---delicately balancing humor and honor with shock and soullessness.
Besides the weight situation...a direct link to Tony's character was evident last season when he not only confronted a bear in his backyard, but then appeared to morph into one briefly as he fought his way through a thicket trying to get back home, where his wife Carmela (Edie Falco) castigated him for having wet shoes.
Quite frankly, I would have been content to have the show end there...with Tony essentially resolved to spending the rest of his life with his biggest nightmare---a lady who by extension of circumstances had finally become his mother.
Indeed, that's the fate of "almost all" boy-men.
Fortunately it's a fate that I escaped...so far... and with no female figuring prominently in my world at present, perhaps I shall exit this go-round with life un-scalded by the acidity of smother-love.
You see, Tony, like me, is the quintessential over age juvenile delinquent.
And while the years have padded my physiological calendar well into 62, I would still like to think of myself as the "incorrigible" 12 year old who spent over three months in Central Juvenile Hall's Unit W on Eastlake Avenue just outside of downtown Los Angeles during the summer of 1956.
It was there that I learned the most valuable lesson of my life: everything that you get you MUST earn.
Perhaps that's why I prefer to label "Freedom" as a "Privilege"---and proclaim that "rights" should not be taken for granted---but instead that they should be fought for---25 hours a day!
And to that extent, I am proud to stand in front of the American Flag in its defense---not cower behind it like certain bloated proselytizing swine I've been unfortunate to know in the Adult Entertainment Industry who wrap them themselves in the First Amendment---instead of being willing to take a bullet for it.
Now that's the kind of language that I'm sure Tony Soprano and his band of not-so-merry pals richly adhere to...shot by shot by shot.
Just thought that I would "weigh in" with that sentiment...if you know what I mean!
end
NOTE: Originally published in LA Xpress, March 23, 2006 issue.
|
|